| Page 2 - Beer Pulp |
| Page 1 was my original writings. This page consists of interesting things I've come across and want to share for the good of all mankind. |
| Beer - Fun - Pictures - Posters - Sayings - Ads - Cartoons If you have something you want me to share, please contact the Author (That would be me) |
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their
hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and
let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
Babe Ruth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Paul Horning
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
H. L. Mencken
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
George Bernard Shaw
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
W. C. Fields
~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:
"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this. A he rd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and
weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the
whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this
way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel
smarter after a few beers."
hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and
let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
Babe Ruth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Paul Horning
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
H. L. Mencken
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
George Bernard Shaw
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
W. C. Fields
~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:
"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this. A he rd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and
weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the
whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this
way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel
smarter after a few beers."
| "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin |
| To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group Salvation in a can! Leo Durocher |
| I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. Frank Sinatra |
A handful of 7 year old
children were asked
' what they thought of beer.'
Here are some responses
7 year old Tim- ' I think beer must be
good. My dad says the more beer he
drinks the prettier my mom gets.'
7 year old Mellanie - ' Beer makes my
dad sleepy and we get to watch what
we want on television when
he is asleep, so beer is nice.
7 year old Grady - 'My Mom and Dad
both like beer. My Mom gets funny
when she drinks it and takes her top
off at parties, but Dad doesn't think
this is very funny.'
7 year old Toby - 'My Mom and Dad
talk funny when they drink beer
and the more they drink the more
they give kisses to each other,
which is a good thing.'
7 year old Sarah - 'My Dad gets funny
on beer. He is funny. He also wets
his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't
have too much.
7 year old Lilly - ' My Dad loves beer.
The more he drinks, the better he
dances. One time he danced
right into the pool.'
7 year old Ethan - ' I don't like beer
very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he
burns the sausages on the barbeque
and they taste disgusting.'
7 year old Shirley - ' I give Dad's beer
to the Dog and he goes to sleep.'
7 year old Jack - ' My Mom drinks beer
and she says silly things and picks on
my father. Whenever she drinks beer
she yells at Dad and tells him to go
bury his bone down the street again,
but that doesn't make any sense.'
children were asked
' what they thought of beer.'
Here are some responses
7 year old Tim- ' I think beer must be
good. My dad says the more beer he
drinks the prettier my mom gets.'
7 year old Mellanie - ' Beer makes my
dad sleepy and we get to watch what
we want on television when
he is asleep, so beer is nice.
7 year old Grady - 'My Mom and Dad
both like beer. My Mom gets funny
when she drinks it and takes her top
off at parties, but Dad doesn't think
this is very funny.'
7 year old Toby - 'My Mom and Dad
talk funny when they drink beer
and the more they drink the more
they give kisses to each other,
which is a good thing.'
7 year old Sarah - 'My Dad gets funny
on beer. He is funny. He also wets
his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't
have too much.
7 year old Lilly - ' My Dad loves beer.
The more he drinks, the better he
dances. One time he danced
right into the pool.'
7 year old Ethan - ' I don't like beer
very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he
burns the sausages on the barbeque
and they taste disgusting.'
7 year old Shirley - ' I give Dad's beer
to the Dog and he goes to sleep.'
7 year old Jack - ' My Mom drinks beer
and she says silly things and picks on
my father. Whenever she drinks beer
she yells at Dad and tells him to go
bury his bone down the street again,
but that doesn't make any sense.'
Relationship Contract
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Remember "I" before "E,"
except in Budweiser.
Professor Irwin Corey
except in Budweiser.
Professor Irwin Corey
| Laugh a little, laugh a lot, drink a little, drink a lot . . . |
| Dating Contract |
| One Night Stand Agreement |